Get A Life!

When I review this blog -going back over the past three years, I can see how one might conclude that I might have no life other than memories. But that conclusion would be a distortion.

I really have quite an ideal life with two wonderful children -one who is now a teacher at a prestigious French college and the other, in Communciations specializing in film at University.

My partner, wife and best friend -Jane, is a highschool teacher in the French system. I truly lucked out with her 30 years ago. Her beauty, intelligence, poise and balance were beyond compare. Why do I include 'balance'?

Well, to answer that, one has to go back to highschool times,- girlfriend experiences.

I had a number of girlfriends -just as you may have had a number of relatioinships of your own.

The thing about those times, (for most of us) our senses, emotions, hormones and body parts were their freshest and most potent -as new powers to a superbeing.

It was a time to experiment pshycologically, emotionally, spiritually and otherwise grow into ourselves.

Having said that, I had a number of experiences where the dominant person in the relationship was either her or me. And in neither situation did I find comfort or balance.

As a youth, I experienced jealousy as I would either be worrying that my new possession, my girlfriend might be seeing someone else or she would be worrying about me. OK- it was mostly the former. Ah! The 16-18 year old male -what a stage! We're talking about security; security in who we were as people and the attempt at finding comfort in our own skins- as we tried on different personas.

Of course it was 'the time' of our true education. Incomplete in our 'selves', we had to experience life and smack our heads against it, perhaps, in order to truly find who we were and more to the point who we were not.

We gained experiential wisdom. We found out through the consequences of our actions, things we would not ever wish to experience again. Of course this took place not only in high school but beyond into college or work years or for some -early marraiges of discontent - like playing dress-up, only to fine they were stuck and wasting life. A true education makes us ready to recognise that possible direction for our 'being' to flow through life. Bowever a true education just never ends does it?

So when I say Jane had (and still has) balance, I guess she completes the leverage of the see-saw for me in that she somehow provides security and I know I do not have to worry the she is going to try to be the power in the relationship, just as she knows I am not going to be the power, since 'power' misses the point. It's more about giving ourselves to each other and our family to create a 'good' life.

I knew the momet I saw her that she was the 'one' - but that's another story...quite a romantic one at that.

So there is much to me that is not in this blog and problably never will be, since the focus is indeed upon the past, highschool times, things I see today that might connect to people who knew of our Chateauguay High/HS Billings experience and things people bring to my attention about that time or people we knew and where they might be at today.

Today I was actually going to descibe the first time I stayed over at Jimmy Williams house, the difference of our two family cultures, our days hitch-hiking down to Beauharnois in the depths of winter to spend time with Layla and Linda...but Jane has just called down to me to come up for breakfast. Ah well maybe next time.

Enjoy the day all!

I'll get back later to edit this entry, after I have finished studying for my next Securities exam (Stocks, bonds, options etc..).

High School Romance

Do you remember the magic from back then?

It's recess.

Everyone is zomming here and running there.

Chatter of who said what to whom, which teacher is a bitch for making someone spit her gum out.

Then you see a special someone in the hall and for a split second- eyes catch,
-a glance?

Time suspends.
There's the delicate trace
of moisture
upon the lip.
The gaze, still held -
in passing
just a beat
too long
the heart ,
skips,
catch breath and let out a low whispered
"Whoa..."
or is it a moan?
"Oh no! Did anyone hear that?"

And before each looks away,
just a split second before
as her hair
flows in swirl,
"Ahhh!" it is there !
a shy hint
of a smile,
a sly glint
- in the eye
a tear?
The spell
is cast
...forever.

Does a moment
-fade in time?
Even if you
never had the chance...
the dance..

No,
No.
It
grows
...stronger.
And some
times
an unguarded
moment
in the life
you wonder...
and your
heart
- it skips
once again...
alas.

LM Nov.17.2009 and still counting...