Every Now And Again (Revision).

So this person says to me..."It's 'the' classic case of bad timing,
or, perhaps the right time has simply not yet arrived.
I live in hopes. But I believe that a past 'true-love' and I are destined to somehow meet again."

"Really?" I said, "You believe in that old proverbial fairy-tale?"

" Well, - during high-school and after, any time I was 'uncommitted or not-going-out-with' someone, the person I really wanted, was either in love with, committed to, 'or going-out-with' someone else and/or had dropped off the grid of my awareness.

Throughout my life, that person has been in the back of my mind and every so often peaks through my dreams."

"Well, have you ever tried to connect in some way?"I asked.
"Yes - and I intentionally went to the reunion to see if that person would come too."

"And..." I continued.

"And nothing. They did not show.

"But are you unhappy?" I asked.

"No - I love the person I am married to and love my family.
It's just this nagging feeling in my heart, of something not complete, something special that might have been, or still might be -in the future."

"But if you are happy now, and with Family and you Love your spouse, what would happen if that special someone from your past suddenly showed up?"

"Oh God- That would not be good, I mean, as much as I yearn to see that special person again, - uh, no-the time is not right. I would hope that would not happen. What a mess!"

"Then you know why that person did not show, at the Reunion."

"I suppose you might be right." Anonymous said.

"But then, do you suppose that person feels the same way you do?" I asked.

"I really don't know at this point, although some time after high-school, we met and they said, that they had wanted to be with me too - but I was always with someone else when they were free or they were with someone else when I was free. So, as for now how they might feel, you never know, perhaps they do. But of course this could all be my romantic wishful thinking - but a lovely thought, just the same."

"Well, I think you're lucky in a way, since you have that little nagging hope and fantasy that keeps you dreaming and -occasionally wistfully thinking about some magic time and place which has yet to be or may never be, but in itself, is like a picture in the wallet - nice to have; -your private spot."

"Just think," I continued, "There are those from our past, who did marry their one true love from high-school and that was it.

There is no one else. They are either happy -or not.

And if not, perhaps they are wrestling with the conundrum of having gotten who they wanted, - but have grown away from.

Conversely, they may be contented and very happy and that's it.

But you, on the other hand, have something extra -as yet unspoiled by reality or your own human foibles and foolishness, (or theirs), -pristine, unwrapped and always fresh! And just think- you haven't seen them since College....would you really like to meet now? Would you like to give up the fantasy so readily?

Anonymous replied, while looking off in the distance, "These days - in our fifties, I'm pleased to be in good health and with certain means. And I hope that person and I, do meet,-at least one more time before we die. Until then, you are right, I still have my dreams -where that person shows up 'in the guise of youth' ...every now and again....

...But I have learned over time -through my spouse, to understand, that the outer crust of being, is not as important as the magic that attracted me in the first place, that is always there - a side glance, their smile, their laugh and their company.

So for the one from my past, - perhaps we were simply destined to appreciate the magic moments in each other's passing."

"That's a nice thought" I said, "but I bet you still live in hopes."