Looking Back, Looking Up and Looking Outward.

In the year 1967/68, I entered grade 7.

The class pictures presented here (some terribly over-exposed with darness) are but some, containing students we looked up to; the demi-gods roaming the halls on high, - (grade 10).

(Click on these for a closer look.At the time they seemed so grown up to my grade 7 mind -still do perhaps!)

This was a new world, a foreign culture of ever changing rules, new inner yearnings, desires, academic goals and plenty of distraction.

Chateauguay High took on a new name. Funny how that happens in life. I looked forward to Chateauguay High.
Who was Howard S. Billings anyway? (Ah ! Maybe next entry.)

We looked up to new and more grown up role models who projected conflicting yet magnetic unspoken codes. These were imbedded in their 'look' and demeanor of sophistication and experiential knowledge. And sometimes, revelation occured through the direct passing on of puzzling information! I recall Ingrid J------ explaining the strange and perplexing uses of some our body parts. This process was supposed to be fun? Another time on the school bus going home Gaham R----- explained in more detail what one could do on one's own if one was so inclined to such experimentation. Eurika!

The learning we were to take on transcended boundaries contained in bold type between two covers. The High School world had invisible class rooms that were outside and inside our walls of perception.

You were either 'in' or 'out', you either 'got it' or not.

Lessons were constantly learned -malicious lessons, angelic lessons, lessons of love, admiration, attraction, hatred, fierce competition, lessons of passion, lessons of authority and not simply that of teachers or administration. There was a very sly guerilla war going on at this level -inside and out, in school and at home. We were changelings, taking off the 'home' persona which we left by the door, to be picked up when we got home again, but the fit was never quite the same.

I suspect there are only a few 'old souls' contained in young bodies, on their reincarnated second go-round, who are truly ready to appreciate the activity of study, contemplation and the aquisition of knowledge at that age.

How many teachers were (or are) gifted with the ability to cut through the invisible masks we were trying on. Who had the talent to awaken neophytes to the higher calling?

How many teachers could set aside their own fragile home lives and personal inner angst to ignite the hunger for wisdom dormant within us? Some were capable indeed. Many were not. Many had to simply be content to don the role of referee. The punishment they would take from many of us- incredible! Many of our teachers grew old very quickly and they were not paid their due by a long shot. If our parents only knew...

And yet- here we are today. Wiser?

I should think so! The learning we did was primarily on the playing field of "social order" and "human dynamic" and secondarily in the arts of learning to learn.

The subtleties as well as the outright harshness of some of our experiences are still indelibly tatooed onto and within our collective psyche.

And yet through the kaleidescope of those five years -in and out of love and misery, detentions, soccor matches, hockey, football, basketball, fist fights, awakening sexuality, ski trips, substance experimentation -from the nectar of the gods to the wafting smoke of Alice's catepillar and beyond- here we are.

But understand this. We were not empty vessels waiting to be filled when we entered therein. We were already imbued with our characters, biases, cleverness and perhaps the lack thereof, in short, - we had an inherent nature of our own.

High School may have molded it to some degree, but only to the extent to where we were deemed by others, to be ready for a world that moved in it's own time and rhythm.

The question was, 'could we hit the pavement running' and discern the beat of that rhythm?
Are we even now able to descern the 'rhyme' or 'reason' of our external worlds coproate, political or social?

Some of us yes. Others no.
Some of us now set the beat while others do the dance.

So- What have we done with ourselves since then -in this, "The Real World"?
Have we changed since high school?

Have we gone over to the 'dark side' of all that we rebelled against?
Could it be that what we thought to be rebellion-was actually the process of "breaking on through to the other side" of our quite natural existence?

Speaking of which, it's time for all good boys and girls to go to sleep now.
Night Night sweet children.
And Peter Pan where ever you are...here I come! Look out Wendy!