Life Graduation through Reunion











(A 'visitor' in my life, -Pat Decaen Then and Now -a great man!)


I find this process of Reunion "creation /coordination" to be really quite interesting.

At first I was somewhat concerned about the time it would take and the details I would have to involve myself in -a possible sticky goo of inconvenience. But as the process evolves in small steps, there is convergence, joy and acceptance of imperfection.

I stand in the centre of a circle, deploying actions, which once invoked, fly at their own speed with their own life, on their own accord, around me, building in their own momentum energy and resulting effects.

Some of these are as follows:

Word of Mouth :
I speak to people who once went to HS Billings, or parents that are still in Chateauguay, I tell them of the reunion, the websites and some of the people I have been in contact with. They then tell other people. A ripple effect is set in motion.

E-mail:
Of course I began months ago with the broadcast e-mail list and since then I have been corresponding more one on one with various people who then have begun corresponding with others. Also I have sent many messages to Classmates.com. Some people have actually begun looking at this site as a result and have started contacting their old friends. I get at least one request every two weeks or so from someone to pass their e-mail address on to an old acquaintence.

Web Log:
The log tends be a cohesive 'passive element' or ever changing 'store front window' where anyone can simply look in at pictures or select entries to read.

Yet inherent within the entries and pictures are activated seeds of recall, which evoke within the viewer/ readers' consciousness a "call to one's own past". So the log is more active than some might think. Once looking in or reading, do not be suprised to find yourself occasionally dreaming of the past or of individuals from the hallways of your years in school.

Telephone
As I work on the logistical elements -hotel and possible back-up, should this approach fall through, I discuss details with Richard Rankin (Ottawa) and sometimes John Saunders (NYC). These co-originators of the movement are in contact with others occasionally reconnecting and talking of the past and the future reunion.

On contact communications and new name generation, common intersecting points have arisen, points in Canada out West, Ann-Christin Gurholt (Calgary), Gervase Bush occasionally ( BC), Lynda Young-Chapleau ( Toronto).

Entertainment
This is the latest action element to be harnessed in the movement before final price adoption, - Roddy McManus (Montreal) and lately David Glass (Calgary) and Mark Stafford (Montreal)
have now been brought into the communication exercise.

In all of these spins of the wheel, a cause and effect 'whril' is moving and gaining force.
People are becoming aware, pulling out the year book, dreaming of the past and looking towards a future point...traction.

I understand that for some Internal dialogue is being experienced:
- What does he/she look like now?
- Will I go?
- Does she/he still like me?
- I'll have to lose some weight.
- What a pain - why can't they just leave the past where it belongs?
- I am no longer the same person since I've been sick.
- The medication I'm on will not allow me to lose weight so I don't want to be seen.
- I am curious. I'll just watch the evolution of the 'blog' but I won't go to the event -not in this condition.
-They can come and get me and pull me in- I'm too shy to just get involved on my own.
- I don't care what they look like or what I look like -it'll be good just to see the sprits of the playground, the glass hallway, the auditorium, the lockers, the dances, the football games, the hockey games, the jam sessions, the radio station.
-To see once again and perhaps for a last time those left from the yearbook staff, teachers, ex smokers from behind the church, the jokers, the intellectuals, the gossips, the cute girls, the hunks, those who deemed themselves less than good looking but were gifted with rich personalities -WOW!...maybe...
- Would I be missed if I did not go?
- I don't want to see him/her. He/she always thought they were so damned smart and they will just rub their success in my face -I'll just stay home thank you very much.
- No I always do 'such and such' on this one weekend of the year and I'm not going to give it up even this once.
- Am I really being a coward hiding behind expedience for not wanting to go?
- Tough !-I'll never see them again anyway. I can always say I was sick.
- It's too much bother, I don't want to see anyone anyway. I wouldn't enjoy it.
- I really haven't made out too well in life and I don't want to have to expose myself to other people's judgement. I'm going to stay home where I am safe and comfortable."..I am a rock and an Island never cries.."
-I can't wait to see everyone - how exciting! I'll take a drive around Chateauguay -maybe show my son or daughter the points and places of the old stories!

Yes, this has been a learning exercise. So many people have unique ways of perceiving what a Reunion will mean to themselves.

It will definitely be a test to one's sense of self for some.

But ultimately, I seek to reconnect with the "inner person" from back then -my own and others. You and I were children in highschool before taking on the more complicated role of who we are today.

Like rings of bark around the outer tree, year in and year out, we have become crustier and taken on more weight of the outer world, more insecurities. The challenge is to leave that personality crust and judgementalism and baggage at the door for a weekend. Go easy on yourself.

I know that the essential you - the kid- is still in there.

I know, we take ourselves a lot more seriously these days;
these days of having had kids, adopting kids, not being able to have kids, paying down mortgages, divorces re-marriages, running businesses, perhaps going bankrupt or worse, or working nine to five forever, perhaps attaining riches or perhaps loosing all, or gaining the real self in pride and 'coming out', experiencing the loss of parents, friends, children, limbs, hair or looks. Who knows? Maybe sought and attained Nirvanna? Or you've gained or lost lots of weight? It' ok. I will not judge. I have my own "stuff" to leave at the door. It'll be a relief just to get in and recognize other grown children and laugh at our imperfection, while closing another circle before it's "time to go".

In short, we have grown up. And in some cases our inner selves are fused with our occuapations, or short-comings or notions of what and who we should be, -having left the'kid' behind -jetisonned many years ago and not wanted back.

So I say to myself...
deep inside, there is the inner YOU, that came into existence with your body, that never changes - the one we all saw as children, the one that drives the outer shell, that has always remained separate from the 'fusion shell' of the ego and projected personality that you cling to. The one behind the puppet shell is the YOU we all want to see again. Leave your pride or insecurities of the shell, degrees, dollar signs and pompousness behind. Be free to be just 'you' if just for once and come on down! The worst judge is your insecure ego self. Leave her or him behind.
Conversely - if you really think your so hot and better than everyone else...leave that attitude behind. We want to see "you"- the kid -not your ego's polished sense of perfection.

Yes it has begun.
The whrilwind circle has picked up speed around me.

People have been coming to Chateauguay and visiting us. We go out to dinner or out back to my 'make-shift' Gazebo for tea/coffee/beer or wine. We play guitars and sing sometimes. We laugh. We remember.

One of my visitors has brought encouragement.
He is a MAN by the name of Pat Decaen. He once was on the High School football team. He was in drama. His 'before-self' and his 'now-self' look different but his smile and spirit are even greater. He has taught me a lesson in the nature of inner self assurance. I look forward to many more lessons that give me encouragement in accepting who I am now. I look forward to my graduation in life through REUNION.
L